Have you ever had one of those days where you just think “Well,this day is completely done and it’s only 10am!”? I HAVE! A LOT! In fact, just last Friday I had one of those days.
My husband came home and I told him “I completely failed at being a mom today.” He quietly laughed and said “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad!” But he was wrong, it was that bad. Well, at least it felt like it in the moment. If you’ve ever had one of these days, you are not alone.
I’m going to share some things I do that help me to get back to being the mama that my babies need me to be!
This particular day last week was a day where I kept snapping at Camila and became completely overwhelmed with nursing Alenna. Whenever I have a day like this or even a moment where I lose my cool as a mom, I feel terrible. When I think about it, I am acting the same way that my 3 year old child acts when she is having a tantrum.
She can’t stand all of those emotions she feels and it comes out as screaming and acting ridiculous. In those moments I tell her “Camila, I know you are (insert emotion here: tired, angry, frustrated, hungry) but you still need to act the right way.”
Hmmmm…..those emotions sound familiar to me and seem to be the same way I am feeling whenever I snap at my children or husband. Last week when this happened, I was struck with such conviction. It was like I heard my own voice in my head “Amanda, I know you are feeling tired and frustrated right now, but you need to act the right way.”
OUCH! I went to Camila and apologized and thank God for the grace of a child. She quickly said “It’s okay mommy, I forgive you.” I told her “Mommy is very frustrated right now, but I still need to act the right way.” She looked at me and nodded, giving me the reassurance that I needed as her mama.
Kids are so resilient, but they are also absorbing everything they experience. It was a great reminder that I need to be setting the example for her and letting my actions reflect my words.
Take a time out
I am a stay at home mama. It is certainly a blessing. But it is also a true test of character. To be at home with your children 24 hours out of the day is HARD! It can be very overwhelming to never have a moment alone during the day.
SO this is why it is important for me to take a time out to recoup. The other day I found myself taking a time out, in the BATHROOM! Before I could snap, I quietly slipped into the bathroom and shut the door. Yes, they found me 2 minutes later and were both screaming at the door but I NEEDED to just close my eyes and breathe for a second.
It was funny, and it was only for 2 minutes but it worked to just take a small timeout to gain my sanity back and laugh at what my mommy life had come to, hiding in the bathroom from my kids!
Ask for help
This can be a hard one for me.
And most times I wait until it is too late to ask for help, when I’m already overcome to the brim and my emotions are spilling over. But this past week I spoke to my husband about how overwhelmed I have been feeling lately with my dad’s surgery, housework, momming, everything really!
And do you know what he did? He surprised me and came home on his lunch break during the week to help me with the kids! And it helped SO MUCH!
Who’d a thunk that opening my mouth and actually asking for help would lead to HELP!
Even though it was only for an hour during the day, it still kept the kids out of my hair so that I could get a few things done and actually lay down for 5 minutes by myself! It was amazing, and he doesn’t know how much it really did help me to recuperate during the day before being by myself with them again.
I know you’re going to read this babe, so THANK YOU for that, I love you!
Lastly, I think it is so important to remember that you can always start over. You had a bad day as a mama? Okay, fine. No biggie. Start over again tomorrow. Thank God for grace.
Grace from Him, grace from our kids, grace from our husbands. And grace for yourself. It is so important to not only receive grace but to give it. Give it to others, but give it to yourself too. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Something that I have to remind myself often is that I need to trust in God’s grace and know that it is sufficient. You can read another blog post I wrote about trusting God, here.
We all have our off days, our kids will survive and be better for it. Especially when we learn from our mistakes and grow to be better parents because of them. That’s what parenthood is all about anyway, right?
I hope you found these simple tips helpful. I know how overwhelming and daunting a task it is to be a parent. Recognizing your wrongdoing and apologizing to your kids shows them that mama makes mistakes too and can learn from them in the same way we teach them to learn from their mistakes. Taking a time out, even if it’s a small one, can help you to refresh and get back on track. Asking for help can lead to unexpected surprises that can provide you with the break you need. And when all else fails, thank God that we can always start over again tomorrow!
I’d love to hear some steps that you take when you are feeling overwhelmed as a mama?
Amanda Elize ♥